Hold Me In The Darkness
by reflecting
Summary: SSNT OneShot. Third in a series of OneShots. Tonight, he needs her love. Tonight, he is broken. Tonight, she will hold him in the darkness. R


_A/N: yet another ssnt one-shot... ;) you don't have to read the others, but they kinda belong in some series or something ;P first it's 'Lonely No More' and then it's 'Keys To Heaven - Slowly Giving In' . for the fans of those two short stories; here's another! ;D hope you like it..._

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Hold Me in the Darkness 

He shivered at the cold air surrounding him; making it hard to breathe. His head was bent and his raven hair covered his face like curtains. You could see the small puffs of steam coming from his mouth, and the rapid heaving of his chest. It almost looked as if he was in pain.

The moonlight was the only thing lightening the winter night; keeping him from hiding from what stood before him. It was a young woman, shorter than him, with a grim, worried expression on her face when he didn't look up to meet her bright eyes.

"Come," she whispered as she held out a hand. The man looked up, his eyes reflecting what she knew was his very soul. The tangled web of feelings, the many wounds long forgotten but never fully healed; it was all there. He took her hand gently, if a bit hesitating, and followed. She clung to his arm, snuggling her head against his shoulder as if seeking comfort and giving it at the same time. He didn't even flinch. Warmth threatened to consume her as she smiled, eyes closed; for a moment his strange behaviour forgotten.

"Tell me what's on your mind," she finally said, breaking the silence. They'd stopped in front of a house; a very small house. It looked worn and old in the bright moonlight. The impression was one of loneliness. He winced. Through the year they'd been together, he'd never dared coming here. Had never dared to take that step; hadn't known if it would be a mistake or not. But tonight he needed her. Tonight he was broken.

"Can we go inside?" he whispered. She looked into his eyes and frowned at the glassy look, but nodded and opened the door to let him in.

He closed the door right after he'd entered and leaned tiredly against it. She raised a troubled eyebrow and walked up close; lifting his chin with her hand to force him into eye contact. He groaned but made no move to stop her as she fixed him with a firm glance.

"Speak up, love," she said. He grabbed her wrists and gently placed them around his waist before sneaking his hands up to cup her face. She felt she could've purred at the gentle touch as he traced his thumb along her bottom lip.

"Tonight…love…tonight I need you, Nymphadora, I need your love," he whispered, voice breaking, as he closed his eyes and nuzzled his nose into the nape of her neck. She trembled at this; at the feel of his warm body so close, but felt a strange unnerving feeling in her stomach. Something wasn't right.

"Why? What's wrong? Tell me," she urged while pulling away reluctantly. She bit her lip as she noticed his stiff posture, and swiftly wondered if she'd pushed it too far. But he replied in something lower than a whisper, and had no anger hidden in his words.

"I have gotten orders, from two sides, to leave. I am going on a mission, and do not now if I will return alive. I thought I would be given time, but I am to leave tomorrow. Please, love, I need you…I need your sweet caress…I need your love…" Her breath caught. Her world stopped. No. It wasn't true. He wasn't standing here, broken, telling her he might never come back…might never return to her arms…her bed…her life. But he was. She who had just started to enjoy having him for her own; it couldn't be! It felt like just yesterday that he'd said those words; '_Whatever it is you want of me, it's yours'._ Tears ran down her face as she titled her head upwards, letting him kiss her with his warm, soft lips. He mumbled things, things she couldn't hear but knew, deep down inside, what it was.

"It's driving me insane," he mumbled into her lips. "This pain."

She desperately silenced him with a kiss more forcefully while tightening her grip around his waist dragging him with her; slowly leading him into the next room. Her living room. She needn't turn around; she needn't open her tightly shut eyes, just to see where she was going. The house was too familiar for her to forget the twist and turns.

"I love you, I love you, I love you," she whimpered as she fell backwards; landing on the couch. He followed suit and lay over her; elbows keeping him from crushing her. The pain and need in his eyes spoke of how he seemed to desperately need those words. She wouldn't deny him them; she would never stop speaking them if that was what he wished.

"Kiss me," she demanded after seconds of silence. He did as told, tracing her jaw line down to her collar; tasting every bit of her exposed skin. She moaned and arched up for more, almost afraid of denial. His soft touches told her he would not deny her what he so deeply wanted to give; the pleasure she craved.

"Pray, my love, that this will not be the last time," he whispered against her skin; unbuttoning her nightgown slowly and with care. She sobbed but nodded; gazing up to the ceiling. The moonlit room made her brown eyes seem grey, but he thought they looked like melted silver, like a pool of unshed silver-tears. He murmured his thoughts out aloud, whishing for the strength to appear strong in her eyes, but he couldn't. He'd known it since she'd come running out to meet him; when he'd lowered his head to avoid her beautiful, happy eyes and smiling face. The pain in his chest had been unbearable at the knowledge of the upcoming mission, yet her mere presence smoothened him; relieving his restlessness.

He tried desperately to fill his head with her, tried to forget about those thoughts of reality swirling around, but couldn't. He was going to leave the one person that made him feel more than just alright, for once, within a few hours. Why? Why was he leaving? He'd just begun to understand, had just started to believe in the happiness this woman gave him. How was he supposed to return it, if dead?

He met her eyes then; wondering if there were enough words to describe her, to form his love into sentences. Tonight, he mused, there wasn't. If it ever would be. He wished for a way to make things right for once, whished for the ability to make something perfect; to show her he wanted, oh yes he wanted, to give her everything. She seemed to read his mind, or maybe that was just his imagination, and lifted her head up enough to whisper in his ear.

"Tonight will be perfect, right? Just like every other second I've spent in your company, love. Hold me, Severus, and I'll never slip away."

Smiling sadly to himself, he filled his senses with her scent; that sweet scent. He gently drew the nightgown over her head; revealing the beautiful body of his angel. He held her gaze as he bent down to kiss her soft belly; a wicked smile tugging at his lips. Tonks bit her lip in annoyance. Already was he playing with her, and she was buying it. She sighed as his hands found their way to her thighs; firmly pushing them apart while caressing the sensitive skin. He closed his eyes before devouring her; tasting her with care. He was rewarded by her gasp, followed by a animal like growl as he stopped and left to capture her mouth instead; her taste fresh on his tongue. They kissed passionately; barely having time to breathe. But when he broke the kiss to concentrate his attention elsewhere, she firmly held him in place; so close that their breaths mixed.

"Stop teasing me," she demanded inches from his lips. Severus chuckled, having no intention to obey, and gently removed her hands from his neck; now only her legs around his middle keeping him from moving too much.

"Don't you want me out of these clothes?" he asked with a low, seductive voice that made her tremble.

"You have a wand! Use it," she growled back.

"Oh, I intend to, love," came his reply which only made her cheeks colour. His laugh rumbled in his chest, almost like a roar. Tonks raised a brow at this thought but let out a gasp in surprise at the sudden feeling of skin to skin; closing her eyes in pleasure. When she relaxed her muscles he moved fast; pinning her arms and legs firmly down on the sofa they were occupying. She huffed, but was silenced by another one of his teasingly hot kisses.

"Tell me….what….it is…you…want," Severus demanded while breaking their kissing only to kiss his way down her throat. Tonks moaned but couldn't get anything said because of her state of mind; foggy of pleasure. His hands were doing something incredible and she feared she would melt any moment now.

"Tell me, Nymphadora," he repeated more forcefully, making his point clearer by pushing himself against her. She whimpered and tried to speak, but her breath caught at the sensation that ripped through her body. The bastard was keeping her from answering!

"Take…me…now," she finally managed to press out through large gasps. Severus grinned evilly and placed a kiss on her brow.

"As you wish," he murmured before thrusting his way home; groaning at the intense pleasure. Tonks arched up for him and hissed, urging him to continue. Her mind was spinning as he obeyed, and she dimly noticed that she was repeating his name over and over again while tears fell down her cheeks. At this moment of total bliss; she allowed herself to forget about what'd happened; what he'd told her. She didn't mind forgetting about tomorrow, or any day, she just had this moment here and now. She would hold him in this darkness, and she would never let go; not in her heart.

"I love you," she heard him whisper into her ear after some time of silence. She didn't know how his heart ached as he said these words, holding onto the one thing he could see. His beautiful angel. He would fight to get back. He would do his best to share a bed, a life, with her in the future. He just wasn't sure if that was enough.

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_A/N: ok, so it's a bit sad ;) but plzplzplzplzplz review! -puppy eyes-_


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